Monday, August 10, 2009

Thanks to you.

I'm still waiting for the memories to leave.
For them to get the hell out of my head.
They come every day or so,
torturing me, reminding me, never letting me forget...

I will never be able to be the same with anyone else just because of you...
You got the best of me and you took every part of it, claiming every piece, leaving nothing for anyone else who may come around.

You promised me that you and I together would be great, that it wouldn't hurt, not even a pinch.
You promised me to laugh, to love.
You promised me no broken hearts, no tears.

I believed you, oh did I believe you.

But it did hurt, it hurt like hell all the time and it still does, just as much.
I barely laughed and I was the only one loving, trying to make it all work.
My heart is broken beyond repair, and I've shed my share of tears.

You told me baby don't be scared, promises I keep.

Why? Why couldn't you just warn me? Let me decide at my own risk?
Instead you made me fall for you, go through so much hardship.
The things I dealt with, went through, were unfair- not right- and you know it.

Sad thing is, I forgive you, I do.
But the memories still live in me, still burn through me.
Forever leaving me with this scar that never seems to heal.
I want to be okay, I want to forget...
I want to stop thinking everyone is like you.
I want to live life without worrying that someday someone else will put me through what you did or maybe even worse, if it get's any worse than that.
I want to have control over what I think about just for one day, to have one day off from your memories would be great- almost a treat.
Maybe that day will come, or maybe it wont.
Thanks to you.