Friday, July 31, 2009


Sometimes were scared.
So scared that we hold ourselves back from all the great things in life that can make us happy, maybe even complete.
We worry that those great things will hurt us, take away everything we have.
Those things can hurt us, strip us of our happiness, yes, but if we don't try them out, give them a chance, well never experience happiness, or see what they have to offer.
So maybe sometimes we just need to jump, dive in head first without thinking.
It wont be easy, no.
However, I think its harder to never know, to never know what could've and maybe should've been.

So I'm diving in deep, head first, cannon ball, everything.
Are you with me?

Thursday, July 30, 2009

: ) : )

Felix passed his math class : )
Yay, for you baby!
&& thank GOD I finished my computer class.
Summer's finally starting.

BiG shiny smile for that!
: D

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


Take a look at what you see,
are you content with what my heart has to offer?
Is it enough, is it even close to perfection, satisfaction?
Compared to what you have given me, I doubt it.
I know I am not perfect and I highly doubt I can supply complete satisfaction,
but I can give you what I have, in fact I will give you my utmost, my utter all.
This is what I have to offer you, and I hope you take it in peace.
Without one regret in you, without one doubt crossing your mind.
&& I don't want anything in return because you have given me enough.
Scratch that, more than enough.
For you have given me your all, your utmost gratitude, your genuine help, your endless love, and more, damn so much more.
Without you, honestly, I don't know where I would be or who I would be.
You are my guardian angel, and I couldn't ask God for a better one at that.
How grateful I am to have you, so lucky am I.
When I think of you my heart pounds desperately against my chest, wanting more and more of you, needing more and more of you.
I know I cant be me without you.
So I guess you can say I need you,
need you here with me, if not in person, then in mind, heart, and soul.
I love you.

Monday, July 27, 2009

For every 27th of every month.

Since the day I saw you butterflies, twists, and turns took place in my stomach.
Since the day I met you, I saw what love was, I saw you and I so clearly- it was such a vision.
I had a definite glimpse of love and I knew I wanted the whole package, the whole deal.
I became selfish when it came to you, there was no more room for anyone else, but you and me.

This is just how I see you in my eyes,
I want a world where its just you and me, just you and me under the big clear sky, with the sun and moon on our side.

After being with you for some time the butterflies still remained, my stomach still twists and turns whenever your around, and when your kiss finds mine, its inexplicable what it is that I feel.
Not even meshing all of the greatest love stories of time can tell or even be sufficient enough to express to you what is that I feel.
There's just something about you that grows sweeter within time.

This is just how I see you in my eyes,
I want a world where its just you and me, just you and me under the big clear sky, with the sun and moon on our side.

I sometimes come to think of our forever; our never ending love and if its possible that it can possibly contain an ending; an immediate stop.
&& if it can, if that is the bitter blue truth, then I will fight for that ending to never come, I will be a one woman army battling against life.
I will be that one girl who stood up to fate and chose her own destiny.
I will be that one girl who fought for her love, and defended her hearts rights.
Because truth be told,
there is no me without you,
there is no way I could be complete if not for you,
for you are now apart of me, and I will do just about anything to keep me whole, to keep our love alive.
Because you are worth it; worth every tear, every laugh, every butterfly, twist, and turn.

That is just how I see you in my eyes,
I want a world where its just you and me, just you and me under the big clear sky, with the sun and moon on our side.



Everything in life has a beginning, a middle, and an end.
Life is like one huge, gigantic, sometimes seemingly pointless, yet sometimes worth while circle.
Something new always comes up, whether good or bad, and somehow it always ends.
Just like our life here.
So whats the point?
Seriously whats the point in investing time in people, in things- if its all just going to end?
Why waste your energy and well-being?

When I have the answer, I'll post.

Thursday, July 23, 2009


&& then we continued blissfully into this small but perfect piece of our forever.


Love is irrational, foolish, unstable, and without reason or argument, the best thing I have ever invested my time on.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


love; a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

eternity; infinite time; duration without beginning or end.

normality; conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.

Only you, and you know who you are, can truly understand this, can fully comprehend what is being said here.
Living a lie isn't always easy, and having to involve the one you love in the lie is even harder.
You walk life always wondering, when will something common turnout? Something that for once I cannot relate to, which would be a good thing.
Something that I'm not used to, something that will show me another side to life, because I know there's more to life than this, well at least, I like to believe there is.
Then, I stopped wondering.
I caught a glimpse of you.
&& a definite love rushed through me and in company so did fear.
Fear that you wouldn't except me or what surprise I carried with me.
I thought you were too good to be true, too human at that fact.
Turns out, I was wrong.
You took my hand and accepted me, and accepted everything I carried with me.
Not only did you understand me, but you changed me.
You showed me a side to life that I had never seen.
You showed me happiness, carelessness, and the will to my rights.
I had never known normality, until I met you.
I had never done half of the things I have done, until I met you.
So you see,
I love the taste of your innocence, you are the normality in my life.
I want to know you forever, if eternity exist, then i will look forward to a never ending story with you.
I love the sight of your playfulness, you are the normality in my life.
I want to walk with you forever, where ever you may go, take me with you wont you?

Because now, after seeing you, having you with me, and knowing what its like to have a life like your' be accepted by someone completely even after they know, I don't think I can ever be the new person I have become without you. I will go back to how I used to be with you not around.
I will go back to lacking in hope, waking up to the same thing everyday, and having no reason to continue changing, other than Gods grace.
I need you my normality, so please wont you stay, help me continue to change?

- Made me smile, so its worth posting : )

Monday, July 13, 2009

Death. That's harsh.

Death, is a harsh thought, a difficult word to actually understand fully.
It is a harsh subject, that we brush off with a surprisingly immense amount of ease.
I've thought of how I would die, if it would hurt, or if I'd be one of the lucky one's to die in their sleep.
Then a sudden notion hit me.
The ones who die in their sleep, are they really the lucky ones?
If we were to die in our sleep, we would be unaware of what was happening, we would be at total peace.
Which is good, I guess.
Still, we would miss out on knowing, knowing that the life we once knew would be gone soon.
We would miss out on our last thoughts, our last visions on life.
We would miss out on our last prayer, our last goodbye.
Is that really considered lucky?

I don't know.

What if the lucky ones are the ones who know they're about to die?
The ones who get to say their goodbyes, think their last thoughts,and of course, say their last prayer.

I don't know.

Is it really better to leave this world without knowing; to be held in total oblivion as to what is truly happening, or, is it possible that those who know death is near leave more prepared for what is about to greet them after?

I think I know.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

The Cross.

He walked straight through fear, without even looking back or second guessing his actions.

He trusted in his father and he continued to walk in the light for us.

He knew death was near, he could feel the pain, despair, and heartache.

Still, he continued to walk…for us.

The earth was still, it watched every step he took, and it felt every ache that he felt.

His father looked down from heaven, looked down upon the earth and its cruelty.

He felt what any father would feel, he felt torture, the torture of having to give up his son.

However, he wouldn’t regret it. He wouldn’t regret saving us. He wouldn’t regret sending his son to die for us.

Down on earth, Jesus, the son of God, wasn’t angry, for he loved us as well.

He loved his father and he wanted to make him happy, he wanted to please him and most of all, he wanted to save us.

So he walked that difficult trail towards his own death.

He walked without the company of confusion, for he knew, what he was doing was what he had to do.

His cross was heavy; it carried all of our sins on it, what a burden to carry.

He could feel the weight of all our wrong doings, he could feel every moment we have betrayed him; still, he carried his cross.

He walked to save us.

The blood dripped down his face, his body ached, and his father watched his son walk towards his dying moment.

He lay there next to his cross, they grabbed his hands and nailed them in the carrier of our sins, his screams were heard across the land and across the heavens.

With his hands nailed to the cross, they nailed his feet, trapping him there. His groans reached the heavens, and God let it continue, he let this horrid moment continue, not because he wasn’t capable of stopping it, but because he loved us, he allowed his son to venture closer to death for us.

The cross stood up in front of the world, and Jesus surrendered to the world, he asked one last wish of God, to forgive us for hurting him, to forgive us because we didn’t know better.

The heavens heard his plea, and God heard the words off his son, and there for we were forgiven.

Then, it happened, Jesus faded away from this earth. His soul left slowly, and his heart pumped slower and slower. Then I believe, the earth felt that pain, that loss, I believe the earth stopped spinning, the whole universe paused, and watched.

The sky turned black and thunder dominated the atmosphere.

All the forces of nature collided together in an army to show its pain, to show its anger.

Jesus died for us on the cross, God gave his son for us to be able to live and to be forgiven for every stupid, idiotic, sin we will ever commit.

If it weren’t for this act taking place, you and I wouldn’t be here today, we wouldn’t be able to live life.

The smallest things that mean so much wouldn’t occur.

There wouldn’t be a future for you and me.

However, that isn’t the only gift God has given us,

He has promised us his company and guidance forever,

He has promised us to be by our side with every step we take here on earth,

He has promised us an infinite life after death in his kingdom.

The only thing in return that he has asked of us; is to follow him, to praise him, and most of all, to love him like he loved us.

He knows we are not perfect, that we will make mistakes, we will sin, but if we can just try to follow him, if we can just believe in him, and take notice in what he did for us.

If we can just say that phrase that he wants us to say, that phrase that makes him so happy that the sun shines down from the heavens, that phrase that completes him.

God, come into my heart, guide me here on earth, walk with me every step of the way and show me how to walk in your light. I know I have sinned, I am a sinner, so please, forgive me of my ways. Remember me after my time here, and take me with you after I perish. For you have given your son to die for us, thank you Lord, thank you.


Wednesday, July 8, 2009


Before a storm, the earth is still; it is at peace and at ease.
How lovely the earth is before a storm.
So perfect, so welcoming, and tranquil.
It invites you outside to venture in a walk, it puts out bait and waits...
waits to prey.
Then, it all happens very quickly, the rain comes and the thunder clashes upon us. The earth becomes angry and the winds become demanding.
We begin to run for cover, we feel betrayed and tricked.
However, some of us dont run.
Some of us stay and walk calmly in the rain.
Some of us dont allow the winds to demand us.
Some of us continue on with life and do not allow the rain to interfere.
In a way, life is like a storm.
It tricks us, plays games on us.
It will lead us to believe that everything is perfect, oh, so very perfect.
Then, it happens very quickly, life turns upside down and everything we loved, cared for, and even worked for, changes, or perhaps even disappears.
&& some of us will run, hide from life, and wait for the sun to shine once again.
However, some of us will continue to walk through life's hardships, never giving up, until we reach our destination.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Giving thanks.

God has blessed me with everything that i can ever ask for.
He has given me passion, friends, family, and an overall amazing life.

He is remarkable.

Stick around.

With every beat that my heart makes, images of you run through my mind.

With every breath that I take, a piece of you sinks in deep within me.

I see the world, and I see the people in it, they’re all a blur to me, but you stand out in the crowd, you are so clear, so vivid to me.

With every step that I take-I take it only to venture closer to you.

With every decision I make- I make it with you in mind, making sure that my results have a special place especially for you.

I see life, and I see how confusing and heartbreaking it can actually be, then I see life’s beauty, and how much it has to offer me, and then I realize that it offered me you.

Someone like you doesn’t come around often; I can use someone like you in my future.

So won’t you stay around for awhile?

Make yourself at home; stay as long as you want, because I sure wouldn’t mind.

&& who knows? Maybe this will be a forever thing, or maybe it will be a never again thing. But I don’t care, every second, every hour, every day, spent with you is worth it. It’s worth taking the risk, worth falling apart, and it’s for damn sure worth falling in love with you.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Just a special thanks.

After all the years that have passed me by, there's always been one thing certain in them, that never collapsed, never let me down, and never gave up on me.
Isuet Ribot is a great friend.<3