Sunday, October 4, 2009

Numbness for the living.

Till this day I think of everything. Everything that has ever happened, images constantly play in my head, pieces of different Polaroids flash in and out. The most unfair part? The part that sucks the most? Is the memories that I want to keep, want to hold on to, fade quickly, never stay long, barely come.

But the other images, the other memories that I would give anything to ban, to just simply send to hell, always come, always stick, and make themselves a part of me.

Then there's the numbness.

The state of total ease. Where I feel nothing, remember nothing, know nothing. The only thing that I am sure of is that I'm still alive, still capable to live, and in this state, when all is at peace within me, I see a glimpse-a moment of clarity- that I can change, run my life. Get through this, and get out.

With him.