Friday, January 1, 2010

No Kiss Blogfest Scene

I welcome the No Kiss Blogfest with open arms. Finally, it is January 2, 2010 and I can post my scene! I hope you enjoy reading Drake's moment. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read my scene! I can't wait to read all of your sure to swoon scenes :)

Things were happening-- unnatural, unexplainable things. I was beginning to question my sanity... until I saw him. His dark silhouette surfaced the animal in me. I felt the need to protect her and that feeling took over me. - Drake

My eyes shot open, darting to the French double doors that faced the yard. My curtain was drawn back slightly, allowing only a glimpse into the shadowy, green yard. I narrowed my view, oblivious to what made me look over there.

I felt a sudden unnatural, unexplainable paranoia—as if I was not alone. I swallowed, the saliva traveled slowly, roughly down my dry throat. My heart began to race as I began to walk toward the doors. The tile beneath me felt cold and there was no comfort there. I walked with a feeling hanging over me—something was out there.

I couldn’t explain the feeling but I just knew that another pair of eyes watched me. It was the same feeling from earlier this afternoon, the same eerie, unwelcoming stare I felt eating at me.

My hand touched the white curtain and without thinking I yanked it to where I could see the entire yard. My eyes searched feverishly, the pool was lucid, the clearing smooth and lonely, the gazebo empty, and the swing set creaked back and forth in the wind.

I let out a sigh, allowing the curtain to fall back in place. Was I going insane? It could be the stress building up into this veil of uncertainty, but something inside me told me otherwise. I had this gut feeling that something was behind these glass doors but reality proved otherwise. I went over into the hall, ready for a steaming cup of tea.

Rounding the hall into the dimly lit kitchen she caught me off guard. I paused behind the swinging kitchen door that was left ajar. She was leaning against the kitchen counter, stirring her drink—which let out strings of smoke—with a spoon. Her hair was loose and I took in her black and white striped pajama pants and white tank top.

She turned suddenly, her eyes meeting with mine as she pressed her lips into a thin line, her brows pulled together, her lips parted ready to speak—but she said nothing and neither did I.

Our eyes held their lock for seconds as I walked toward the cupboard above the sink, retrieving a red mug. I poured some of the boiling water she prepared and her hand hung in front of me with a tea packet, flavored peppermint bliss.

I dropped the packet into my mug, pulling at the string, watching the packet float up and down again into the water. She mimicked me.

“Amber,” I said without noticing. My words came so smoothly, knowingly, like a rehearsed script that had been written by my subconscious.

She looked at me, her eyes narrowing.

“Amber, I, please, just let…” My mind went blank, completely black as her hazel eyes searched my face for understanding.

“I am here, just know that,” I said and her eyes turned down slightly as she twisted her gaze to the floor again. I did my best to breathe evenly, to gather myself as I waited for her to say something.

She looked up at me and her face was only inches from mine. Her eyes were like nightfall, completely empty, yet, I saw a bit of light in them and I wished with everything that I was the reason for that light. Her lips parted and her face came closer. Her nose graced mine and my body shot hot. Our foreheads touched and we leaned on one another as my neck boiled; my ears sizzling with flecks of fire. I lifted my hand and cupped her jaw within my trembling fingers.

She sighed and I pulled her closer. It was overwhelming having her so close. It was more than just lust, it was our childhood together, it was growing up side by side, it was battling relationships and love together, it was having her here when no one else was near, it was her friendship—her loyalty and goodness that lured me in. I rubbed my face against hers and her hands gripped my elbows, pulling me in.

I had always felt like I had a hole dug up inside of me somewhere—never being able to fill it up. Amber located the half of me that was incomplete and little by little was throwing herself in, filling me up. Our lips were only inches away and I was going in for what I wanted, selfishly I was taking her all for myself.

I stopped. Her eyes shot open as her body stiffened at the sight of my bulging eyes. My palms began to sweat and I felt a shrill of ice flow through me, draining the color from my face. A dark figure—the same one from the other night, lurking behind the tree—ran through the hall behind her and into the back of the house. Her hands gripped my elbows harder.

“Drake, what is it?”



46 comments:

Just Another Sarah said...

Very nice! :)

Courtney Reese said...

Excellent writing! I left you a little present over at my blog ;)

http://courtneyreese86.blogspot.com/2010/01/bringing-in-2010-with-blog-awards.html

LittoMiss isuet said...

Im telling you Vicky, you've gotta be the best writer I know. Can't wait to read more (:

Kimberly Franklin said...

You are so good! That scene was fabulous, and I have no doubt you will be published. You have a remarkable talent. Loved it!

Bish Denham said...

Quite a no kiss scene! Phew! Keep up the good work.

Katie Ganshert said...

I love that picture you had at the end. How perfect.

Great stuff, Victoria. Very suspenseful. What kind of story is Amber?

Mary Campbell said...

Wow - I was completely pulled in. Ugh! I want them to kiss. I really hope I can be your crit partner or a beta reader - want to know what happens next.

Charlie said...

OMG! I love this, and love your writing style, such imagery, it's beautiful! On top of that, your scene is fantastic, and made me edgy as if I were there, slicing the tension!! Great job!

Elizabeth Riggin said...

Excellent! I enjoy your writing! I wish you the best in 2010! E-

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

I love how you set the scene with tension--the French doors and curtain,the swing moving, the cold tile floor--and then the warmth of the kitchen with steaming tea and his love. These characters tugged at my heart. Nicely done!

Frankie Diane Mallis said...

Woohoooo another Drake scene! Loving it!!!

The romantic query letter and the happy-ever-after said...

Oh Victoria that was brilliant. Your pace was perfect and the near kiss a dream. So very thrilling. Also my thanks to you for your advice with my novelette "Strange" I'm grateful for you help.
Warm regards,
Simone.

Donna Gambale said...

My favorite observation in the whole scene: Her eyes were like nightfall.

What a great image!

Ash. Elizabeth said...

i love it!

Shannon Messenger said...

Wow-that was awesome! I loved the eyes like nightfall line, especially when he hopes the light has to do with him. Thank you so much for sharing and I hope you don't mind that I'm following your blog now. I love connecting with other writers--and a blog with Blue October playing in the background is my kind of blog. :)

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

Ooooh I had goosebumps. And tonight I might be a little scared to look out my windows. I'd so keep reading. Great job. :)
My Blog

Kelly Lyman said...

her hands gripped my elbows, pulling me in.

loved this line. Great descriptions as usual! I had goosebumps and wished the scene would have continued! Great job.

Bethany Mattingly said...

Oh, wow! I loved this. The imagery alone was fabulous. I want to read more!!!

Jade said...

Whoa! That was intense. This book sounds HOT!

Kate said...

Oh I want to know who/what the dark shadow is! You've set up the mystery so well!

sherrinda said...

Nicely done!!! I liked it in his POV. :)

V. S said...

Thank you all for taking the time to read my scene :)

Katie- It is a paranormal romance.

Mary- as do I !

Amalia T. said...

Great tension! I loved his description of how she had found that hole inside him and begun to fill it. Thanks for sharing this!

Iapetus999 said...

Those dark figures always show up at the worst times!
Good job!

Sqrt(D) said...

Nice job on the scene!

Diana Paz said...

Whew, love this! Nice writing and lots of steam!

storyqueen said...

Timing is everything!

This scene left me with many questions, which is a good thing. Curiosity=intersting!


Nice job.

Shelley

Nicole said...

Nothing to totally ruin a potentially super hot kiss than some creeper in the background... ;D

Sharon Gerlach said...

Excellent tension. I enjoyed reading your excerpt very much. And thanks for reading mine! ;-)

Karen said...

Pulse-pounding...love it!

Kat O'Keeffe said...

Love the tension and the imagery here! Great job :)

Melissa said...

Wow, the tension was intense! And the almost kiss - perfect:) Nice Job!

Vicky said...

Whoa. That was some serious build up lol. Great scene!

Marissa Alwin said...

great build up of tension and passion between them. I truly enjoyed reading it!~Mari

VR Barkowski said...

Amazing atmosphere and great tension. Love the way you set the scene and mood then zero in on Drake and get into his head. Beautifully done!

Hayley said...

Aweson! Stupid blakc figure ruining the moment... I so want to read more and I love the name Drake. *Sigh* so well done!

Mary Campbell said...

glad you changed that picture. The one where, I think it's you, looking down on the city was a little creepy. I like this one of you better.

C R Ward said...

Wow, that was great! I didn't want the scene to end!

Sara McClung ♥ said...

I honestly wanted to read MORE! You have such a great word flow--such a nice tone to read!! I also really enjoyed that they had such a history together (childhood)

Julie said...

I can't wait to read your book, I swear! You have such a way with words, I can always feel everything going on.
My favorite part? Where Drake observes the light in her eyes and wishes he were the reason behind it...perfect!

Michele Emrath said...

Aaahhh...I like the ending.
You have an award on my blog!

Michele
SouthernCityMysteries

Angie Kate said...

NO! why did it end?! Who was it? What was it. You can't just leave me hanging on after that...

JK, this was awesome. I love the balance of emotion and movement in the scene. :)

Heather said...

Great scene! You have beautiful descriptions, but then you really honed in on Drake's feelings about everything. I loved it.

Alissa said...

Great scene and very intriguing!

Lisa and Laura said...

Steamy! Love it!

Roiner Ruiz said...

That was great! I can't wait to read the book! :)

WHO IS THE DARK FIGURE!?